Blogging (or more specifically, not blogging) has been stressing me out lately. My life is changing and my time is changing and since I started this blog, I’ve changed. And as you can probably tell from the title, it’s not even the only thing I’m trying to sort out. I feel like so many things are in flux right now. I’ve been trying to sort out what that means for this space while trying to figure out how blogging fits into my new schedule, and in the meantime I’m posting less and less without explanation. So here it is.
I come home and I don’t want to write. Or I want to write but my mind is blank.
Not every day anyway, not like I used to.
I feel like I have no time. I’ve always taken on a lot, maxed out my time each and every day, but I’ve never had this feeling of there never being enough. I think everyone thinks it’s funny, like “oh ha ha, welcome to the working world.” I’ve worked full time before, and I’ve worked far more hours during some of my years student but I have never felt like this. I thought I would use that time to be productive, and sometimes I do, but I think my soul needs that time for doing nothing right now.
When I think about blogging, it’s mostly to worry. Worry that the blog will die. I worry because I want blogging to stay part of my life, but it’s not my a high priority, and the other important things are pushing it out. I worry because I don’t know what to say. Then I worry because something I do for fun shouldn’t be making me worry.
I had a feeling my career changes would require blogging changes, I just wasn’t sure how (frequency? content?) so I couldn’t prepare. Now I’m trying to figure it out as I go which is messier and I don’t really like it. So instead of writing, I think about what to do. I haven’t decided.
So what I’m trying to say is, if you see fewer posts, it’s not because I’m slowly fading away from the internet (I hope), I’m just figuring things out. If you really miss me, you can always find me on social media ❤