New Perspective On What Joy Maybe Really Is

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Let’s do something outside of the routine! Life is short, and there are far too many activities that are more important and fulfilling than sitting in front of a television for hours on end. That’s not to suggest you should stop watching TV altogether. But I’ve come to see it as something best placed at the edge of life, rather than the center.

Is your life the same each day?

Let’s Not Be Boring. Let’s keep life exciting and escape the boredom.

I love the sun, warm weather and beaches. However, I wouldn’t say my escape is an island or just listening to music. My escape is completely different. My escape has to do with sports. I’m not the only one though.

Think about it, why would a sport be an escape? Sounds weird, but I promise I’m not the only one. Ask yourself, what makes an escape, an escape? Does it make you feel a certain way?

Buat orang yang sudah merasakan bagaimana kerja kantoran (seperti saya) pasti tau donk bagimana rasanya terjebak dalam rutinitas kantor. Nah! Ini kenapa olahraga jadi alasan tepat menjadi pelarian saya. Biar gerak!. Hahaha

Kebetulan, jauh sebelum bekerja saya sudah menekuni olahraga sepatu roda yang sekarang jadi booming banget ya. Mungkin banyak yang bingung kenapa saya betah banget main sepatu roda sampai sekarang. Selain karena alasan kesehatan dan menyenangkan, juga karena orang-orang yang ada dalam tim saya sudah saya anggap seperti keluarga sendiri. Jatuh bangun bareng, kalah menang bareng, sedih dan bahagia bareng, campur aduk deh bareng tim kesayangan saya Inline Skate Semarang. Terlalu banyak cerita yang bakalan panjang kalo diceritakan di sini.

Hal lain yang saya suka untuk keluar dari rutinitas sehari-hari adalah….Musik. bukan bermain musik atau mendengarkan musik, tapi menemani suami ngeband  (eh….ini kan juga dengerin musik kan ya? Haha). Seru aja gitu ngliatin dari tahap latihan sampai bandnya manggung. Walaupun kadang ngantuk kalo pas latihannya atau manggungnya sampai malem, tapi ada keseruan tersendiri yang susah dijabarkan dengan kata-kata.

Dua hal tadi yang saya lakukan mungkin terlihat kecil, tapi kalau dipikir-pikir bukankah sebuah kesenangan itu harus sesuatu yang besar?

Joy…hmmm…what is it?

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about joy and fun.  And whether I feel them much… or ever…  I realize sometimes I’m not even sure what joy is or how to have fun any more.  Or maybe I’ve changed so much my definitions have just changed.

I do have this one precious memory of a joy-filled moment I relive when I want to move into a joyful place.  And that’s one of the nice things about any emotion:  you can choose to go there or move out of there or to change to a different one any time you want.

The thing is, the way I used to run to clubs to hear music, go to parties, hang out with crowds and noise, etc.  now seems more like a pantomime of fun.  I love music, so there was some joy in hearing great bands.  But the rest was fodder for a restless and unhappy spirit and I’m quite sure a lot of the time I mistook over-excitement and over-stimulation for joy.  Also defined fun by some perception of what was “cool” among my peers.

When I look around these days, I see huge numbers of people who are pursuing the same — to me — illusory forms of joy and fun.  In fact these forms seem really amped up now.  Restaurants are bigger and noisier than any I remember, crowds at music events are bigger and louder.  Sporting venues hold more people, turn the sound up louder.  I have to use sound reducing earplugs to halfway tolerate a movie theater.  And I find all of it energy depleting, enervating, and somewhat depressing.

Many of my moments of deepest satisfaction are very quiet.  Gazing at a sunset, a deep conversation over dinner with a couple of close friends, feeding people something I’ve cooked and watching their faces light up…  None of that puts me in quite the same space I held on the day I danced around in the middle of a crowds.  So are such moments joy?

Those activities for me bring serenity, a sense of balance, a warm feeling in my heart.  I love to be in that kind of space but I can’t decide whether it’s joy I’m feeling or something softer yet deeply satisfying.

I find myself wondering if I’m still being seduced by some culturally implanted idea that joy should equate with something exciting.  Does it have to be as big as the moment of happiness so intense it had me jumping around in the street?   [btw, hard to express how unlike me that was and how much it says for the absolute joy I felt in the moment]

I’m just contemplating, not in a place where I have any sense of an answer.  And maybe joy and it’s bigness or smallness is in the eye of the beholder.  Or maybe it has big moments and small moments…  I imagine I’ll be revisiting this question for some time to come.

For me one of the joys and drawbacks of the spiritual journey is becoming someone new.  Of looking at an emotional tone differently and trying to decide where the current version of me stands…  seeing how much my view/feeling has changed compared to various points in the past. Most of the time being new is great and sometimes not so easy…

 

 

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