I often get the question if I have children, I think to myself, “Do I look old enough to have children?? I admit, I held on to my childhood as long as I could. It’s been a struggle allowing myself to growing up and now I have entered in the phase called aging. I still see myself as a young lady, although you have to be over 50 to refer to me as such. *Crying emoji.
I am now understanding why make-up was invited, I am noticing my face change and often wonder if there is anything I can do to prevent my fate. How do I stop time? It took me years to find myself beautiful, and now its fading away right before my eyes. I should have been more thankful when I was a teenager, instead of being worried about pimples.
I am a deep creative, I shouldn’t care or spend time on such shallow things. I am a sucker for looking at the past. I often took the song lyric from Creep by Radio head pretty seriously in my twenties to help me make any major decisions.
The line, “What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here” was my compass. I often felt out-of-place, so feeling in place was very noticeable.
I crave change but when it happens I soon lose confidence in the ‘driver seat’, not sure where I’m going but I know I have to keep on moving. I move things around over and over again. Not to make things perfect, but to have harmony with each other. Ten years go by fast, I am already thinking about being thirty… and I have no idea what I want to do or be then.. but I know the foundation of my twenty has built me up to have a successful journey.
Every obstacle, struggle, and victory is indeed worth the annoying lines on my face. I may be aging, for I always was, but it doesn’t mean I can’t keep my youthful heart that still believes, all things are possible.